First.

I am Not running for President of the United States of America, so why would You vote for me.

In order to vote for me you’d have to write my full name on your ballot, this is a waste of your vote as I don’t want the job. It also would create a huge burden for the civil servants who run our elections system.

I don’t want to be President of the United States of America, it’s a job for bullshit artists these days. I don’t want to have to stand up in front of the People of this country, who will be my boss btw, the people of the United States will be my boss once I’m president, have you met these people? They’re out of their minds on hard seltzer, algorithms, and endorphins. Anyway, as I was saying, I don’t want to have to get up at the bully pulpit and spew some contrived nonsense about how it seems the west Antarctic ice sheet is about to collapse but the coastal real estate market on Georgia and Sandwich Island is rock steady. It doesn’t sound like a fun job even with all the pomp and circumstance and saluting and stuff.

Besides.

My name would not be on any of the ballots in any of the states or territories (which we should make into more states btw, also can we just open up the United States to more states? Like maybe some other countries just wanna become another state too? Why are we against more stars on the flag?). You’d have to write my name in and that’s not only a waste of a vote, but it’s unclear it it’s

Legal?

Only perhaps. It’s unclear whether I am even old enough to be President of the United States in 2025. Article 2 of the constitution is vague.

Here’s what it says:

"No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States."

So basically I turn 35 between election day 2024 and inauguration 2025. When I win the election at the tender age of 34 there will be holy hell raised in the courts to stop my entry into the oval office. I just don’t really want to go through that stress, so please don’t vote for me.

Stupid?

Yes, not only am I not a well-read or knowledgable man, but my Presidency will be asinine from it’s beginning. I have no experience in Government or even leading medium to large organizations. I will be disrespectful to the other Politicians I will be forced to work with by the very nature that I don’t understand their stupid mind games nor do I quite grasp the antiquated rules and norms I will be expected to abide by. I will be crass in my diplomacy and meandering in my meanings, I will bring attention to unpopular issues while spurning those that capture the public mind. I don’t want to work for the American people and as President I will treat them as they are a boss I don’t really like but am forced to be nice to because They’re my boss.

I only just put up a shower curtain map of the world in order to start learning the names and locations of all the countries and nations I will be interacting with as the President.

Frankly, I don’t know how there is enough time in the day for the President of the United States of America to do all that their job entails. Not only are they charged with maintaining our national defense which seems to be a bit of doublespeak because you’d be hard pressed to

Dangerous?

Possibly,

Wrong.

Certainly,

Link to plans or opinions, as a continuation.