Don’t Vote for Jefferson 2028
Movements need leaders, and I’m not one
Reasons NOT to Vote for Me
for President of the United States
of America in 2028:
I don’t want the job.
Being President of the United States of America is a difficult job with long hours and unparalleled responsibilities. I’d like a stable and comfortable life where I can spend more time with my family and friends.
I don’t want to be an employee of the American People.
Have you met the American People? We are terrible and lovely. We are United when Europe gets uppity yet Untied when [INSERT TODAY’S TOP HEADLINE]. But as an employer the American People are divided, they think this and that and which and what. Rarely if ever do they have the patience for why and how, and those are the questions I feel most comfortable in. So I don’t want to work for them, I’d spend too much of my time selling my ideas, and I’m not sure they’ll even work.
I think America will be better as an underdog. (USA, USA, Number Two, Number Two!)
As President I will let us wither to the Number Two spot on the world stage. Our time as the sole leader is over, we will have to compete for the world’s [WHATEVER]. Which means we are going to have to try harder to take care of our people and the earth. The public square is hard to maintain, but I’d rather have a public debate than a tank stopping groceries from being delivered.
I will remake the UN to be the Continental Congress. The current make up of the UN is stupid, it provides a cooperative circus so that the smartest people in the world are distracted by unilateral statements and multilateral scoldings. I will force those smarty pants in New York to figure out how to remake their voting structure.
I think there should be Five branches of Government rather than Three.
I think our number one priority as a species should be to actually define consciousness, not whatever you care about right now.