November 11th, 2021 | COP26 Hollow Promises

Dear Everyone,

As Jefferson reads more about inflation in todays paper, we on his communications team would like to point out that we brought up inflation in his press release yesterday. He can shit on us all he wants but the truth is that we are professionals here at his Campaign Against President.

Anyway, the UN climate conference continues in Scotland as world leaders herald their attendance as evidence that they are actually doing something to abate the accelerating warming of our planet. Mere presence and photographs are not enough to assure We the Young that you give a fuck about our future.

[Not Sponsor] Breath right nasal strips, as we lose more and more oxygen producing plants it's important to remember to breath right.
The correct way to breath is through your nose, mouthbreathers need not apply, Breath Right Nasal Strips: Breath Correctly, Breath Right. [/Not Sponsor]

In order to hold global warming to 1.5 degrees Celsius we probably should have started taking it seriously a few decades ago. In order to hold global warming to 2.5 degrees C we're going to have to rethink our global systems and Jefferson has yet to see any leaders acknowledge that unfortunate truth.

That said, in news of hope, Jefferson is thankful the United States and China surprised the world with news that We would work together on abating climate change and its   consequences. Jefferson looks forward to discussing this more in depth with China as President of the United States of America.

Please don't vote for Jefferson, technically he's not even running.

Sincerely,
Jefferson's Communications Team