October 8th, 2021 | On The Cloud

Dear Everyone,

First, I would like to correct a typo my communications team made in my October 8th Press Release. I mentioned on of the workplace metric You the People would be able to access my performace as President would be the HSBC data point. The correct initialism is HSBK for Hands Shaken / Babies Kissed.

Next, You may have heard of The Cloud. It's where the Tubes of You and the Hubs of Porn are stored. It's a massive network of data centers, fiber optic cables, and other stuff probably. When I am President I will take the term "The Cloud" back from the massive tech conglomerates who have used it to weather-wash their activities.

No more will corporations be allowed to appropriate the weather for public good will. I might suggest those companies who use "The Cloud" to start thinking of replacement names soon because my inauguration is coming quickly.

Perhas a names like Massive Amalgamated Network or The MAN for short. As in, "I'm uploading my vacation photos to The MAN".

I think this change will clear up much of the confusion surrounding actual clouds versus The cloud.

Please do not vote for me.
Sincerely,
Jefferson Thomas
Your next President Unfortunately.