Campaign Statement on Weirdness | September 24th, 2021

Dear Everyone,

As our second weird summer comes to a close I'd just like to remind everyone that things are only going to get weirder and weirder.

The weather is going to become increasingly surprising and the news is going to become more confusing as the collective consciousness of humanity is prepared for the next phase of existence.

My accension to the Presidency of the United States and later Earth is inevitable and everything bad that is happening, while my fault specifically, is just a stepping stone towards my forseeable future.

As the leaves of this year say goodbye to their trees, I'd like to remind everyone to leave behind their preconceived notions about what is and what should be.

Please don't vote for me,

Sincerely,

Jefferson Thomas